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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ever wonder about this?

I've noticed a tendency to gravitate to some people and away from others. I've been wondering what influences that decision.

What traits have you found common to your friends?
 

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BanditFlyer said:
Ever wonder about this?

I've noticed a tendency to gravitate to some people and away from others. I've been wondering what influences that decision.

What traits have you found common to your friends?
Like mindedness , selfless , sharing, warmness , interesting thoughts and common goals are some traits that makes me attracted to a light bulb like a fly.
 

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BanditFlyer said:
Ever wonder about this?

I've noticed a tendency to gravitate to some people and away from others. I've been wondering what influences that decision.

What traits have you found common to your friends?
Open minuteness, tolerance, intelligence ( Not required), knowledge, ......
 

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I do not have special criteria to choose my friends. When I make a new friend, it just comes naturally.
For example, I have friends whose political opinions, ranging from moonbats to ********, differ completely from mine.
 

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Chicon said:
I do not have special criteria to choose my friends. When I make a new friend, it just comes naturally.
For example, I have friends whose political opinions, ranging from moonbats to ********, differ completely from mine.
On that note, Would make friends with jihadists?
 

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1. They must pay me cash for every hour I'm with them.
2. They must make me dinner.
3. They must not be ********, they are just lame.
4. They must drive me everywhere.
5. They must treat me like I'm a God.
 

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PhoenixNEW said:
On that note, Would make friends with jihadists?
How do you establish a friendship relation with someone who is able to kill you because in his eyes, you're first a khufar ?
 

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PhoenixNEW said:
convert to islam and then estalish friendly relationship.
LOL ! :up: :D

The problem is still there : if I convert to Islam, which option must I take : Sunni or Shia ?
 

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A true friend wouldnt care if you followed the little green men from Mars religion
A true friend would be with through the good times . the bad times and the really sh**ty times
A true friend would give you last last chocolate from the box.
A true friend would like you for who you are and not what you can give them
 

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I dont choose my friends based on a certain criteria. In my personal life, I make friends with everyone I meet but there are differing degrees of closeness with each depending on how much time we've had or have together.
 

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I am kinda like Val. My life is open to friendship with most anyone I meet. Being kinda withdrawn or shy, I don't pursue them fullheartedly.

But I have developed over the years a few very stable friendships that have endured distance, hardships, and adversity.

These particular friends are not carbon copies of me, and we have all changed over the years.
One close friend had been a mentor initially, and I fear I have lost contact with that person altogether.
The longest standing close friend is 40 years.

I also am very close friends with one of my aunts. I can't seem to form consistant friendship bonds with any of my female cousins...we have cousin bonds (like recognition of genetic relationship), but not friendships. There are a few that I wish we would have developed friendships.

Some of my male cousins are closer to me. I don't know if that's because I was a tomboy and bookworm as a kid, and they admired that in me.

Only one of my close friends is like me in many ways. She is introverted, moody at times, dreamy,..... some people thought we were the space twins in our teen years, as we were both imaginative and loners, and off in a different world.

All my other close friends are outgoing.

As I am getting up in years, I focus on my daughters friendships a little. She has one in particular that is dynamic, and she has let me in on that one. So has her friend. Ocassionally, I email her friend, and send holiday greetings, and thank her friend for her loyalty to my daughter.

I love to watch children develope friendships. It is interesting. That is a very recent thing.
 

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I will add that because of my inertia in pursuing friendships at times (I have moved around most of my adult life), I have had periods of loneliness.
 

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Intelligence is my main criteria... if one has that... nothing else is needed... now, you know why I like you Bandit... :p


.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Valley, I wasn't really thinking of criteria, per se. I've just noticed a tendency to gravitate towards certain people and I couldn't seem to find a common trait among those people. It got me thinking if there was some commonality between the people I tend to choose as friends. I keep thinking that there must be some things I look for that I could discover if I thoroughly analyzed the personalities of my friends, but I can't seem to find any common traits.
Littlefield said:
Sorry but this is a definite random question.
Good point.
 

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true friendships take time....

my daughter (15) has a list of contacts on her cell phone a mile long....when she was younger, it was two miles long, and she referred to them all as "friends" because she'd spent a little time with them, they'd talked a bit, shared something fun, and so just seemed like nice kids.

some were, some weren't....she's learning that true friendship is more than things you have in common...it's also about differences, and about how both of you handles, and that developing a friendship is about you as much as it is the other person.

wish i'd learned that sooner :)
 

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You know when you meet with someone if they have the possibility to be friends...

It might be a touch on your arm or the look in their eyes.. Chemistry has something to do with it as well as mutual interests .....

I find it is harder to make friends as you get older.. my circle of close friends have been with me since my teens
 

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My gravitation toward some people that is stronger than just a casual curiosity, say,...I have found does not always spell the criteria for a friendship. Sometimes they are not drawn to me mutually.
I try to ask myself what is it that I see in them.
And I don't always accept the first answer.
Sometimes it is an aspect I admire, I suppose. I tend to get tangled in people I admire. I'm not sure if I explained that clearly, as I have never really dissected it.
 

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Blackmirror said:
You know when you meet with someone if they have the possibility to be friends...

It might be a touch on your arm or the look in their eyes.. Chemistry has something to do with it as well as mutual interests .....

I find it is harder to make friends as you get older.. my circle of close friends have been with me since my teens
Totally with you on the chemistry part. I do find it much easier as I grow older though. Could be it was very precarious of an undertaking in my youth.
I pace things better now, and take into consideration the complexity of peoples relating, and am aware of their boundaries.

Can't totally shake off the underlying feeling that we are all related in a sense. That will probably never go away. It has been the only tether that has kept me connected in my remotest (most remote) times.
 
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