[oldie]

Malta's civil helicopter service, which operates between the islands of Gozo and Malta, has to be replaced due to stricter safety regulations being enforced by the EU and Brussels.

The problem is finding a supplier of ejector seats specifically for helicopters

Any help would be appreciated

Many thanks - Oldie

 

[Guest]

Trap doors perhaps?

 

[ComputerFix]

I was under the impression, from watching Discovery channel, that the US military had toyed with the concept (blow-off rotor blades) but scrapped it for impracticality. Wasn't aware civ makers had picked up the concept?

 

[GoneForNow]

CF..........I think that oldie is pulling everyone's leg. Think about it, why would a helicopter need ejector seats. In fact, do a google search and you will find that helicopter ejector seats appears under the heading of useless inventions.

 

[Guest]

What good would ejector seats do, even if they were practical, unless everyone on board was wearing a parachute? You said civil air service? Not that I'm taking the matter seriously, but in civilian aircraft, either fixed wing or rotorcraft, unless the cabin is on fire and staying put is certain death, then staying with the aircraft is the best chance of survival.

 

[oldie]

Originally posted by gbrumb:
CF..........I think that oldie is pulling everyone's leg. Think about it, why would a helicopter need ejector seats. In fact, do a google search and you will find that helicopter ejector seats appears under the heading of useless inventions.

You saying that " flavoured suppositories" are not popular in the States

 

[Guest]

You saying that " flavoured suppositories" are not popular in the States

Only on the west coast.

 

[GoneForNow]

Originally posted by oldie:
You saying that " flavoured suppositories" are not popular in the States

Given the number of potty mouths around here you might be on to something.

 

[Paquadez]

No, Oldie: I think you are onto something, here!

Now I gather (from one of my dearest chums, ex Fleet Air Arm), who reckons that choppers are the most dangerous form of transportation ever invented!) that choppers are somewhat unsafe!

So, how about an ejector seat THAT EJECTS YOU DOWNWARDS!

The downside rolleyes: ) is, that if you are too near the ground, then tough $hit!

Still, one can't have everything in this life, heh?

Paq

 

[pronute]

or..... you could use escape transporters

 

[angelize56]

I'll give you an ejection Oldie!



Oh wait....I'm a nurse....I confused my ejections with injections!

 

[barfly]

During WW1 someone invented a machine gun synchronised to fire through the propellor (I think it may have been on the fokker)

Surely with todays technology we can do it with people

 

[angelize56]

What's a fokker???? Is that like an ejector?

 

[coderitr]

Fokker D.XVII -- first deployed in 1933 armed with 2 7.7mm machine guns.

 

[coderitr]

Fokker D.XXI -- deployed in 1937. The Finnish Air Force had considerable success against the Soviet aircraft during the 1939 - 1940 Winter War. Lost nine aircraft while downing 129 Soviets.

 

[Paquadez]

Reminds me of the story about the Polish Fighter Pilot Ace in W II.

When being interviewed on British TV, he is asked to tell a story about a typical sortie.

"Vell, ve vas flying ower Dower und in ze mittle of ze channel, I am lookink arunt usink my mirroz, unt suddenly I see zthree Fokkers, int ze mirroz behind me!!"

The interviewer becomes a bit hot under the collar as this show is going out at 6.30 PM and Grannies and Kiddies will be watching.

So he says, " By Fokker, your are referring to the well known twin engined German fighter, aren't you?"

"Yah, zat was a werry gut plane indeed, "says the Polish ace, "But the fokkers behind me, zey were Messchersmits!"

Paq

 

[Servant of Eru]

Originally posted by Paquadez:
No, Oldie: I think you are onto something, here!

Now I gather (from one of my dearest chums, ex Fleet Air Arm), who reckons that choppers are the most dangerous form of transportation ever invented!) that choppers are somewhat unsafe!

So, how about an ejector seat THAT EJECTS YOU DOWNWARDS!

The downside rolleyes: ) is, that if you are too near the ground, then tough $hit!

Still, one can't have everything in this life, heh?

Paq

Wait a minute here...I've got an idea....not too long ago I read a couple articles about the US Air Force doing experiments with fixed wing rotorcraft hybrids....kind like on The Sixth Day but without the cool transformer aspect. Anyway, supposedly, the jet engine for the regular fixed wing mode doubles as a motor for the rotor by diverting the stream from the back into two separate exits at the tip of both rotors, facing opposite directions to get the rotation effect. Now, if they can supposedly lock a rotor into a fixed position with enough resistance that it can be used as a fixed wing...couldn't they can design a locking rotor that has a saftey mechanism that makes it lock in place in the event of mechanical failure, making it possible for the cockpit to have a normal ejection seat?

If that's too mechanically difficult, I'll one-up Paq's idea. Forward diagonally ejecting seats, eliminates some of the speed of the descent, while assuring that the chopper doesn't fall on top of you.

 

[buddhafabio]

Originally posted by coderitr:
Fokker D.XXI -- deployed in 1937. The Finnish Air Force had considerable success against the Soviet aircraft during the 1939 - 1940 Winter War. Lost nine aircraft while downing 129 Soviets.

not very hard as the soviets had no air force at the begining of the war and what they had was 1920s technology

 

[Moby]

I got beat to the synchronized people ejection system that would surely work (test person has a pretty crap job though), and the 'these Fokkers were Messerschmidts' stories. That's all my aviation jokes used up
Anyway, I thought helicopters could land quite safely if the engine cuts out, autogyration or something like that (as per sycamore seeds) where the wind resistance on the way down keeps the blades spinning with enough speed to create enough uplift to slow down the decent, so that a perfect landing can be made including triple salco with pike, without a step forward or back, on landing the helicopter throws back it's blades, beams with a smiile and 3 judges appear out of the bushes holding up cards

9 - for technical difficulty
9 - for performance
10 - for artistic impression

Or did I misread something?

 

[oldie]

Originally posted by Moby:
I got beat to the synchronized people ejection system that would surely work (test person has a pretty crap job though), and the 'these Fokkers were Messerschmidts' stories. That's all my aviation jokes used up
Anyway, I thought helicopters could land quite safely if the engine cuts out, autogyration or something like that (as per sycamore seeds) where the wind resistance on the way down keeps the blades spinning with enough speed to create enough uplift to slow down the decent, so that a perfect landing can be made including triple salco with pike, without a step forward or back, on landing the helicopter throws back it's blades, beams with a smiile and 3 judges appear out of the bushes holding up cards

9 - for technical difficulty
9 - for performance
10 - for artistic impression

Or did I misread something?

I see Moby is not only poking fun at my intention to help out Air Malta with their dilemma but also my fondness for senior citizens ballet classes !!!