Google Play Store just sort of...hangs there.

I've got a Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini, and am having some really atrocious trouble with Google Play Store - it just isn't working no matter what i do. It's been acting wonky for a looooong time, and usually i can fix it with some combination of clear cache (play store and play services), clear data (play store), uninstall updates, remove Google accounts; restart restart restart, lather rinse repeat. This time nothing's working. It doesn't give me any errors, it just gives me a white window, occasionally with the spinning 'loading' circle but most of the time without. Removing my Google account from the device doesn't even work - it's still there afterward! Everything else on the phone works fine, internet connection is fgood, wifi is operational, all other apps are normal, but i can't update or get anything new as Play Store's functionality is shot. Any suggestions i might have overlooked??