Disappointed

1770 Views 31 Replies 16 Participants Last post by Lurker1, Jan 15, 2003

Toddles18

Discussion Starter · Jan 11, 2003

I can't believe this is the same site I've been coming to for a year and a half now. Instead of "Random Discussion" it has become "Personal Attacks." I liked the way we could discuss and debate issues we felt important to us. It seems that now if someone posts something against the majority thought they are immediately labeled and attacked. I started the Average age of TSG members thread, which revealed an average in the mid to upper forties. That may be true but not many have acted as mature as that average says we should. I'm going to take a leave of Random for a while. Mainly because I am completely disgusted with the actions and comments and personal attacks. Hopefully in a few weeks calmer heads will prevail, and we can debate again with open minds.

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valley

· #2 · Jan 11, 2003

Originally posted by Toddles18:
I liked the way we could discuss and debate issues we felt important to us. It seems that now if someone posts something against the majority thought they are immediately labeled and attacked. I started the Average age of TSG members thread, which revealed an average in the mid to upper forties. That may be true but not many have acted as mature as that average says we should. I'm going to take a leave of Random for a while. Mainly because I am completely disgusted with the actions and comments and personal attacks. Hopefully in a few weeks calmer heads will prevail, and we can debate again with open minds.

I am sorry to see you go, Toddles. I have a hard time figuring out when people are mad. I try to judge the words by the smilies....but I know that doesnt mean a whole lot. Sometimes an insult can be given with a smile and defended as a joke, when it really meant to be an intentional insult. But there are some who really dont mean to offend and are just blowing it off...some people come to just raise some heck and some people come to brawl and sometimes we do a bit of both. I am sorry for whatever part I have had in offending you too.

hope you come back soon. You've given me something to think about.

pyritechips

· #3 · Jan 11, 2003

I agree with Toddles. There seems to be a general erosion of respect for others and their opinions.

I respect you Toddles, an intelligent and level-headed young man. I will miss your posts.

I am sad to see you go.

I wish others would.

Stoner

· #4 · Jan 11, 2003

Toodles 18:

Please don't let anything I've said or responded to make you leave. No matter what, I'm staying cause this site has value.

Please stay!

Jack

G

· #5 · Jan 11, 2003

Toddles, an intelligent and level-headed young man

And I agree ... Toddles is indeed a brilliant young man!

Mulderator

· #6 · Jan 11, 2003

Originally posted by Toddles18:
I can't believe this is the same site I've been coming to for a year and a half now. Instead of "Random Discussion" it has become "Personal Attacks." I liked the way we could discuss and debate issues we felt important to us. It seems that now if someone posts something against the majority thought they are immediately labeled and attacked.

Well, I for one disagree with that statement. I've been here since 1998 and it if its changed, I've only seen changes for the better. We have always had threads where people voiced their opinions, lost their tempers, said things they regretted, etc. That is what it is like on all families. Perhaps even more so in close families. I know its that way in my family and I suspect most of yours.

In fact, this is an incredible irony. In one thread we had some complaining that there should be no censorship while in this one a member is disappointed because he perceives the site as being somewhat less "nicer" than he recalls. And of course, the only way this site can stay as nice as it is is through moderation of threads that get out of hand (which some would call "censorship").

Toddles, this site hasn't changed at all except that it is bigger. The dynamic of people airing out their differences then coming to an accord, or maybe not, is what makes it the place it is. It has grown and will continue so the dynamic of so many personalities will make it appear as though there is more dissent, but in reality there are just more people with more viewpoints and more opportunity for disagreement.

You said you liked the way we could debate issues that were important to us. Well, you can't debate anything without occasionally becoming too emotionally involved--that's just human nature. And if you really do like this place--you'll stay and help to keep threads from exploding into flame wars--help to point out when the minority opinion is getting short changed. Or you can leave and ignore the problem and leave it to others to fix.

What do you choose?

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Toddles18

Discussion Starter · #7 · Jan 12, 2003

Yeah I know....I said I was taking leave of Random for a while. What can I say, it's a black hole that's become part of my life.

In fact, this is an incredible irony. In one thread we had some complaining that there should be no censorship while in this one a member is disappointed because he perceives the site as being somewhat less "nicer" than he recalls. And of course, the only way this site can stay as nice as it is is through moderation of threads that get out of hand (which some would call "censorship").

You misunderstood my thoughts Mulder. I think the censorship that is already in place on this site is adequate. Foul words should not be allowed onto this site, nor pornography. I don't think you, or other mod's should tell people to act "nicer." What I was disappointed in was the lack of respect people were having for everyone else here. Ever since I joined I have always been treated with respect, and have tried to do the same to others. You are right about this site expanding wildly. Its been a great thing to witness. I remember the 30,000th member thread. Now we're at 52,000. Even at that time that was more people then live in my hometown of Bay City.

I hoped that I had never offended anyone but I see that something I did has offended at least one member. I will fix that after I submit this post.

And if you really do like this place--you'll stay and help to keep threads from exploding into flame wars--help to point out when the minority opinion is getting short changed. Or you can leave and ignore the problem and leave it to others to fix.

I really hate giving mulder a bigger head then he already has but he does have a point, and I'm sorry if I sounded like I was whining. I was voicing my opinion, and was trying to get people to take notice. I think I accomplished this.

p.s. I never planned on leaving TSG, just Random. I don't think this is necessary anymore.

p.s.s Thank you all for your kind words about me. I'm glad I've come across as such.

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Mulderator

· #8 · Jan 12, 2003

Glad you are staying around Toddles and also nice to see you change your picture. I hope you understand that while most people see nothing wrong with hunting, some are going to be very upset. Kind of like if I were a big believer in abortion or pro-life, it would be unwise for me to post a slogan to that effect because it would be highly controversial. You show maturity beyond your years by recogning and changing your photo.

Please try and understand Tuppence's viewpoint and don't be upset with her. I am sure she will come around and remain with us.

valley

· #9 · Jan 12, 2003

I loved the deer pic and I personally believe it is something to be proud of... I also think it is very very thoughtful of you to put T2's feelings ahead of your own.

pyritechips

· #10 · Jan 12, 2003

Toddles: Do what I do now: scan the threads and just ignore the ones with an uninviting title. For me the political threads bore the hell out of me, with endless accusations, finger pointing, ideological rantings and school yard bickering, ad nauseum.

Cruise the fun threads or, better still, start more threads of your own; I, for one, value your opinion and would be interested in hearing more of your views. God knows it would be a refreshing reprieve from the boring, stale, recycled threads that seem to proliferate at times.

I liken TSG random and other similar forums or chats to a large party. You are just one of many guests. If certain guests annoy or anger you, avoid or ignore them! Go talk to the ones that are friendly or interesting! You are not obliged to listen to what you don't want to. Heaven's knows there are members here who certainly dont listen, but merely pound away, thread after thread, in an attempt to spread their own variety of pretzel logic.

If somebody at a party upsets you, don't leave and miss out on the rest of the fun! Me? I ignore the jerks and hang out with all the girls!

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Deke40

· #11 · Jan 12, 2003

Toddles-I haven't been here long but this place is the last place I go at night and the first place I go in the mornings.

I also got a little crosswise with a member because of what I perceived as a slight to a post I made. In the heat of the moment I posted back with a retort that was not thought out. He "Private Messaged" me and we discussed it to the point that me and him deleted the our posts. I now understand his character traits better and I hope he understands mine. He has been a lot of help to me so I'm glad I didn't carry out my first impulse to curtail my use of this site.

I belong to several Forums but this one is the cream of the crop.

So please take a second to look at your reasons for leaving Random and your contributions to it and make a thoughtful decision.

Rhettman5.1

· #12 · Jan 12, 2003

The events of the last week have been unsettling at best, but we have all learned a valuable lesson! We all have our own minds , situations and reasons for being here, one of the best things about this forum is the way we work things out, the site was "twisted" less than a week ago, but I think we are all ready to move on !

I think most members will agree , as long as we "seniors" have bright young minds to post and add their opinions , we are all in good hands !

Many People don't even realize that Mike himself was still in his teens when he brought this site to life, glad you're sticking around, and congratulations to your parents for a job well done

...now... I better get a beer before someone thinks I am getting nostalgic..

...Rhett

GoneForNow

· #13 · Jan 12, 2003

Originally posted by pyritechips:
For me the political threads bore the hell out of me, with endless accusations, finger pointing, ideological rantings and school yard bickering, ad nauseum.

Well I'm sorry PC but you've just got to understand, its how Mulder was brought up, he can't help himself.

Mulderator

· #14 · Jan 12, 2003

Originally posted by Toddles18:
I really hate giving mulder a bigger head then he already has but he does have a point

I've said this before, but if I had a nickel for everytime someone said I was right or that I had a point, I'd be a millionaire!!! Of course, then I wouldn't have to pay any taxes either, right Rep!!

Mulderator

· #15 · Jan 12, 2003

Originally posted by pyritechips:
For me the political threads bore the hell out of me, with endless accusations, finger pointing, ideological rantings and school yard bickering, ad nauseum.

Well, I've tried to set the Liberals straight, but you can lead a horse to water, you can't make it drink!

Dark Star

· #16 · Jan 12, 2003

as long as we "seniors" have bright young minds to post and add their opinions , we are all in good hands !

There's gotta be some sort of connection between the "seniors" having "bright young minds"

Good one Rhett

Toddles,

You're a good guy and I'm glad you've decided to stay.

eggplant43

· #17 · Jan 12, 2003

I've been here long enough to see a pattern over time. Periodically, it seems we'll get into an introspective, disagreement, what are we really about, and sometimes personal attack modes. I perceive it as a storm. The storm clouds gather overhead, then it starts to rain, then pour, and then a clearing seems to begin, it clears up, we take personal responsibility, apologize, and then hugs all around.

Seems to me it's a kind of cleansing. Some will leave, some will stay, and some will evolve. I'm here for the long haul, can weather the storms, and hopefully will be able, and open to evolving with experience. This is a place that many of us really value, it is our mutual interest and understanding that will move the dynamic forward, as mulder has indicated has happened as long as he's been here.

My $.02 cents worth

G

· #18 · Jan 12, 2003

nice analogy there eggy... maybe one day you and I can get to know each other.

I know, you back away from ... what did you call them... "my rantings"? LOL

As always, I enjoy your inspiring words.

Wino

· #19 · Jan 12, 2003

Originally posted by Mulder:
Well, I've tried to set the Liberals straight, but you can lead a horse to water, you can't make it drink!

Sounds like the Liberals are getting smarter - no one in their right mind would drink the water since the Republicans took over - too polluted!

Keep in mind - The Moral Majority is neither!

Rhettman5.1

· #20 · Jan 12, 2003

I get the feeling , no matter what happens, we'll still see each others post in 5 years or so

... nice short and to the point..Rhett...

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