Chinese food
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435 Posts
....update my ignore list . 
Joined
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34,294 Posts
First Name -
Stephen
Put on a Bruce Lee movie and practice my chineseabadaba said:What do you do if your Chinese ?
Ai Bang Mai Ne ~I bumped into the coffee table
Ar U Wun Tu ~A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat ~You need a face lift
Dum Gai ~A stupid person
Gun Pao Der ~An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung ~Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding ~We have reason to believe you are harboring a
fugitive
Jan Ne Ka Sun ~A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia ~Approach me
Lao Ze ~Sho Gilligans Island
Lao Zi ~Not very good
Lin Ching ~An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding ~Achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn ~A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai ~A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be ~A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne ~A small horse
Ten Ding Ba ~Serving drinks to people
Wan Bum Lung ~A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan ~Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah ~Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim ~Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting ~There is no reason to raise your voice
Si-Ling Fan ~A device to keep you cool
Joined
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34,294 Posts
First Name -
Stephen
You Might Be the Next Bruce Lee if...
You find yourself casually standing in a cat stance.
You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance. In church.
You answer your boss Ussss.
You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table.
You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure the ends are exactly even.
You accept change from the cashier using a perfect knife hand with the thumb carefully tucked in.
Every time you handle a screwdriver or razor knife, etc., you just can't help changing grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip etc. And your shop help is standing cautiously far, far away from you.
When you're outside doing landscaping or gardening you "practice" with all the neat weapons.
The first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI! and you teach your cat how to free spar.
You shut the refrigerator door with a side thrust kick.
You shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them.
The only clothes you'll wear are gis.
The books on your night stand are by authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto.
The Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the one you'll inevitably lose), four Tokaido gi's, five rolls of adhesive tape.... twelve cases of Tiger Balm.
You look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides.
You refuse to wear shoes.
You say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them."
You go to the shoe store to try on shoes and instead of walking or jogging around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks.
You hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and damage it.
You're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway, notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.
You use various strikes to turn lights off and on.
You don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches.
You open and close doors with spinning kicks.
You find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives at the fast food place.
You can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks.
You haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots.
You leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu", "Walker, Texas Ranger", "Renegade" and "Highlander" at home.
You deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap to your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the parking lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class.
You find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.
You try to back fist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it.
You notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.
You tend to keep at least one flavor of martial arts weapon close at hand by your bed when you sleep.
You buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes.
You have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the fight by saying something so cool that you make Arnold Schwarzenegger and Clint Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes.
After someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately ask "Are you a Black Belt?"
You have the urge to bow every time you enter or leave a room.
You accidentally call your favorite professors "Sifu".
You find yourself practicing stances while standing in lines.
You bow going into and out of the bathroom.
You don't use any tools while splitting firewood.
You are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
You see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of hard concentration
You find yourself casually standing in a cat stance.
You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance. In church.
You answer your boss Ussss.
You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table.
You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure the ends are exactly even.
You accept change from the cashier using a perfect knife hand with the thumb carefully tucked in.
Every time you handle a screwdriver or razor knife, etc., you just can't help changing grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip etc. And your shop help is standing cautiously far, far away from you.
When you're outside doing landscaping or gardening you "practice" with all the neat weapons.
The first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI! and you teach your cat how to free spar.
You shut the refrigerator door with a side thrust kick.
You shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them.
The only clothes you'll wear are gis.
The books on your night stand are by authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto.
The Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the one you'll inevitably lose), four Tokaido gi's, five rolls of adhesive tape.... twelve cases of Tiger Balm.
You look for a place to live based on the amount of practice space it provides.
You refuse to wear shoes.
You say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them."
You go to the shoe store to try on shoes and instead of walking or jogging around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks.
You hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and damage it.
You're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway, notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.
You use various strikes to turn lights off and on.
You don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches.
You open and close doors with spinning kicks.
You find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives at the fast food place.
You can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks.
You haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots.
You leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu", "Walker, Texas Ranger", "Renegade" and "Highlander" at home.
You deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap to your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the parking lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class.
You find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings.
You try to back fist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it.
You notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets.
You tend to keep at least one flavor of martial arts weapon close at hand by your bed when you sleep.
You buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes.
You have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the fight by saying something so cool that you make Arnold Schwarzenegger and Clint Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes.
After someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately ask "Are you a Black Belt?"
You have the urge to bow every time you enter or leave a room.
You accidentally call your favorite professors "Sifu".
You find yourself practicing stances while standing in lines.
You bow going into and out of the bathroom.
You don't use any tools while splitting firewood.
You are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
You see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of hard concentration
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Joined
·
435 Posts
great list fishyson ...had a laugh at those ...
moonie, sick my arse , get out and shovel the driveway !
moonie, sick my arse , get out and shovel the driveway !
Joined
·
34,294 Posts
First Name -
Stephen
Your welcome grasshoppasomefellow said:
what do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop
Top 10 reasons for studying martial arts
10) Broken masonry makes great drainage for potted plants.
9) Get beaten up by people half your size and twice your age.
8) Never run out of kindling wood again.
7) No need to wonder what belt to wear.
6) Get to be on first name basis with the Emergency Room staff.
5) These uniforms make nice pijamas.
4) Never need to wonder why it's hard to get up in the morning.
3) Get to appreciate the finer points of Chuck Norris' acting.
2) Learn to count to 10 in 3 different Asian languages.
And the top reason for studying martial arts:
1) (Tie) Get to star in Ginsu commercials. /
Three words: free nose job.
Joined
·
435 Posts
of course we did , what else is new ....wait til i get ahold of Cindy Day ! flurries ? bet she owns a snow-blower !
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